www.incontinentsupport.org

A little background about me. I am a 43 year old male who is happily married, father to a teenage daughter, and has a great career as a EMS provider. I’ve been in and out of diapers since I was 14. When I was 14 I randomly started setting the bed and would take baby diapers and pull-ups from my younger siblings to prevent cleanup and hide if from my parents. That was until my siblings all grew out of diapers. I was classified as lazy and disgusting once I was caught wetting the bed. I was sent to numerous doctors who all said the same. Oh he will grow out of it. The only problem is, I didn’t. My previous wife (my daughter’s mother) had a bed wetting issue. So I introduced her to diapers for sanitary reasons but she refused to wear and chastised me for wanting her to wear them. I thought it was a good idea as diapers were cheaper than furniture but just like everyone else I was called gross and lazy.

I never really had daytime issues and was mostly dry at night until about 4 years ago. I was working a 24 hour shift on an ambulance and while asleep I wet the bed. I was horrified. I now had to clean the bed that is shared with 2 other shifts and hide my wet clothes. (I always had a spare uniform with me on shift. You never know what kind of bodily fluids you can get on your clothes during a medical emergency.) My current wife was made aware of my issues early in our relationship and was accepting. We even had diapers at home in case I found the need to wear or have been drinking. After that incident at work the very next night I wet the bed at home. (We run a 24/48 hour schedule in the field. 24 hours on and 48 hours off. Some of us do work overtime and work 36s or 48s.) So I started wear diapers again at night again and I made an appointment with my primary care. She referred me to an in network urologist. The urologist did all these different tests and couldn’t find out why I was leaking. She ended up prescribing me with an OAB med to try and limit urine production at night. As for work I immediately put in for a position in the office setting and was awarded a 911 dispatch shift at nights. (12 hour shifts as opposed to the 24s. 2 days on 2 days off 3 days on 2 days off 2 days on and then 3 days off.)

So for the past year I’ve been diapered at night where ever I sleep. It wasn’t so bad until about 6 months ago when while doing CPR on a patient I completely wet myself in the ER. Everyone was so apologetic but meanwhile I was completely embarrassed. To make matters worse I was brought a pair of paper pants and a pull-up to wear by the ER staff, “Just in case.” When I got home from my shift I went to take my pull-up off and noticed it was quite wet and didn’t recall actually using it. I wrote it off as maybe I forgot and just peed it. So I changed out of my uniform and into regular clothes. While sitting on the couch watching tv my wife came in and told said, “Uh honey, You’re wet.” I reached down and sure enough I was soaked along with the couch. I went to the bathroom to change and was provided a diaper and sweatpants by my wife. I love this woman. She is so accepting of me and wouldn’t know what to do without her. Anyways.

I fought for months to keep from wearing during the day and would have frequent accidents. She wouldn’t say anything but I could tell she was getting frustrated. I didn’t want to wear a diaper all day at 43 years old. Then one night when working I completely wet myself while in dispatch. Being that our dispatch center is recorded I had to break down and tell my director about my accident. She was also very supportive and offered any help she could. Another referral to the urologist ended in a different test and different specialist. This time a urodynamic test was completed and during the test I started leaking at approx 68.2mls. This is way lower than the typical capacity of an adult of 2-400mls. As he couldn’t see any reason why I was still leaking. He thinks it was a birth defect and my bladder has atrophied so much that I’ve outgrown it. During an IV dye test and MRI he also noticed my sphincters don’t operate properly. I was given a diagnosis of Urinary Incontinence secondary to Bladder Atrophy and Intrinsic Sphincter Deficiency.

This is my story. I am still an acting EMT and still practice medicine. I don't let my underwear slow me down, but do have some hiccups that make things interesting. I intend on going back to school in the fall to finish my paramedic certification and maybe get a job in an ER or more clinical setting. I love doing hood rat shit in the field but can't seem to keep up with the 18 and 19 year olds like I used to be able to do.

Thanks for sharing your story. We all come to accepting our incontinence in different ways. You are fortunate to have such a supportive wife.

--John
(double incontinent)

Wow, you put in some tough shifts! When I used to do software testing overnight after a full day shift, I would be so tired that I would sometimes hallucinate driving on the way home (I'd slam on the brakes because I thought I saw someone on a bicycle in front of the car). That was when I was in my 20s. So I could never work your kind of hours. Thanks for sharing.

Continual leakage caused by diminished bladder capacity and sphincter dysfunction can be difficult to manage. And, on top of your work schedule, wow! Your management insights will be useful here. Welcome.

Ugh, I am glad you have support but that sounds really rough.